Monsters vs. Aliens…..and Boys vs. Girls

From the time you get pregnant, the boy / girl advice begins. It starts with people guessing if you are about to give birth to a boy or girl. You will also get a myriad of opinions on which gender is the “easier” or more “amiable” gender to have.

Seeing as I have had the blessing of having both a baby boy and a baby girl I’ll indulge myself as a pretty reliable source to set the record straight. Fiction, opinions and anecdotes abound about gender differences that don’t take into consideration the facts that each child has their own personality and comes from a unique upbringing. Parenting skills and environmental factors all play into how a child will develop and behave. Hollywood stars with all their foibles can sometimes show us a few things. Take the Brangelina Pitt kids. One of their brood, a tom boy girl (Shiloh) has apparently been given pure freedom to act however she sees fit. Without the pushing of Barbies and pink hair bands she has decided that she is going to wear army fatigues and Converse runners. While an extreme example, it does show that environment and freedom of choice play a key role in development.

One key myth that is propagated is that girls are more emotionally connected than boys. I have to say, my daughter is quite a little mush with me. She loves to hug and kiss and she definitely is outward with any and all emotions that she has. However, my son is also complex and emotionally deep. He also loves to kiss and hug…..he may tackle me and pretend to run me over with his dinosaur first……but, I always get my kiss in the end. Especially at bedtime, my son is the biggest mush of all!

I think it’s important to engage your child (whether boy or girl) in eye contact, emotional expression and include lots of social stimuli. A concerted effort in these areas will go far in instilling confidence and creativity in your little ones.

Another piece of fiction in my opinion is that girls develop fine motor skills faster than boys. Now I have to say, that with this one….it’s a bit of a challenge to prove that both genders can be equally as strong. Girls have a knack for being able to sit down, focus and draw a fairly precise picture on an 8 ½ by 11 sheet of paper. Boys don’t quite have the capacity to hold their crayons and pencils compared to the girls but if you give boys an entry point with their drawings (for instance start with a wheel of a car instead of expecting them to draw the whole car) the end result seems equally as good. While I perceive both sexes having equal skills on this front, I will concede that boys are a bit of “go big or go home” . Example being that if you put out a big roll of paper and let boys go to town on a big surface you may just see them shine because many boys like big movements and drawing big things. Tailor the activity to your little ones strengths and you may see some spectacular results.

At the end of my reflection on both my children, I truly believe that their core personalities and their environment dictate their demeanor far more than their sex. We have come a long way in the last few decades but I still do think there is too much stereotyping with boys vs. girls and too much expectation set on behaviours before the kids get a chance to exert their personalities. Give them so freedom from preconceived notions and watch them shine.