What’s in a Cry?

“Why is she crying?” Probably the most common and frequently asked question by new parents of their newborn baby? When you first get pregnant you imagine holding your new little bundle of joy in your arms and cuddling them until the wee hours of the night. Never do you imagine trying to rock, hug, and console a frantically crying baby all the while having no idea what made them so upset in the first place.
Good news for you new parents out there…..there is a method to the madness. Non continuous but somewhat frequent crying is usually very normal and can actually be a “good thing”. How can that be? Crying is your baby’s primary form of communication. Crying can trigger a rush of emotions within parents and instigate an uncontrollable urge to comfort. When you respond quickly, consistently and lovingly as a parent you are setting the foundation for secure and healthy development. Sustained crying (hours) without relief, can be a sign of colic and you should review anything you think is abnormal with your health practitioner.

One tip on how to sooth a crying baby is to follow her cues. “But she’s only 4 weeks old….what cues does she know?” Great question…..even the smallest of babies will provide their parents with cues on what is making them cry. For instance….if a baby is crying while crunching up their legs to their tummy then most likely they have gas pains. You can then look at whether they are being burped properly or need an adjustment to how they are feeding. If a baby is crying while trying to suck vigorously on a soother they are probably hungry. If the baby is crying while rubbing their eyes they are probably tired. This sounds straight forward and it usually is. First time parents however are so flustered with all the smells, sights and sounds of a new baby that they sometimes miss the critical cues. It’s the little actions that tell parents exactly what’s wrong with their little one.

My embarrassing story may make you feel better about your new experience, it all started when my daughter, who was 2 months old at the time, was crying uncontrollably. Both my husband and I were very sleep deprived and could barely string a sentence together let alone try to look for clues. The crying seemed endless and we felt like we had tried all the soothing techniques that we knew how to do. Finally we were convinced that she was in extreme pain for some obscure internal injury that she got from laying motionless in her crib :-)  and got her bundled in the car to go to Emergency. We didn’t get more than 5 minutes down the road when the crying stopped and our daughter had fallen into a peaceful sleep. She was so overtired that she was inconsolable and we were too panic stricken to notice. Anyway, my husband and I wound up going through the Starbucks drive-thru and took a long drive around town to give our daughter the sleep she needed.

Nothing is more upsetting than an inconsolable baby! It’s normal to feel frustrated, resentful or guilty. Heck, you may even end up crying yourself. But, try to take a step back, watch for cues and try to solve the mystery of the crying baby. If all else fails, just try to make it through the three month mark and the crying will dramatically decrease :-)!